Abra Cadaver

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4/11/10 @ 12:54am

Got a DUI last night.

Pretty much gonna kill myself or get my shit together.

Not sure which one yet :S.


Standby....

the perfect drug

So I...4/8/10 @ 10:29pm

...got back in touch with my first boyfriend/kiss/whatever recently after not seeing or speaking to him in over 10 years. Best part about this?

HE GOT MOTHERFUCKING HOT.

He's hopefully gonna make a pilgrimage up here (he lives down in OR) and come stay for a weekend.

Mwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahah >:)

Raep is imminent.

the perfect drug

4/6/10 @ 11:32pm

I miss you.

Ughhhhhhhhh.

:(

Yearning for familiarity. GET OUT OF MY HEAD.

the perfect drug

4/3/10 @ 01:12am

Hai eljay. I miss you.

I can't recap over 2 years of shit...so I guess I'll just leave that shit blank. That portion of my life sucked anyway....but, it's not like this is much better. Ugh.

I have a new job. It's fucking gay.

I need to get my stupid ass back into school. I am seriously kicking myself in the ass for dropping out in the first place. I'm too god damn smart for this mundane bullshit. It's sad because there's a lot of people in it with me that are destined for bigger and better things.

Society makes me sick.

I just wanna get out of here. Me and Andy and some place new. I don't give a fuck about anyone else. Seriously. It sucks because he's like my soulmate but in a totally platonic way. Does that make sense? I think I'm destined to be single for fucking ever. Boys never wanna date me. They'll sleep with me and fuck with my head but never want commitment. It's bullshit.

On that note, I miss Kelvin. He's goin to rehab here soon. He showed up at my house randomly the other day. He looked like SHIT and it broke my fucking heart. I shouldn't help him because he's been so fucking awful to me, but I haven't exactly been a peach either....and I just wanna see him get better. Heroin is a bitch, guise. Don't turn out like many people close to me have. It's tragic.

My ex knocked his new gf up. I'd be lying if I said I wasn't a little jealous. One of those "shoulda been me...maybe?" situations. I still miss him sometimes. I COULDA BEEN MARRIED AND SHIT NOW. Ugh. Fuck that. lol.

So here I sit. I'm completely unsatisfied with life. I'm right back where I was 2 years ago and even after putting myself through rehab and making a total 180, I manage to end up (almost) right back where I started. I need to stop drinking again but I am almost completely unable to deal with social interaction other than work without that fucking booze crutch. I am so lost within myself. Me and Andy were supposed to stop drinking on work nights but that shit didn't last long at all. We are awful influences on each other. haha. Someday I'll get over this party stage, right? Maybe? Hmmmmm....

Ok, that's enough for now. I'm gonna try and update this bullshit moar often.

<3

the perfect drug

3/21/10 @ 11:25pm

hai guise.

the perfect drug

11/13/09 @ 05:46pm

i'm still alive, k?

the perfect drug

5/19/09 @ 01:51pm

I've been trying to change the people I've been hanging out with. I still chill with some old friends, and I'll always lub dem, but I've got some amazing new friends. :D

I don't have much to ever update with and I totally forgot about this fucking thing until now. All I do is work and party. Life. Is. Awesome!!



swwwwwwwweeeeeeet.

Lots of awesome shows coming up. Saw Napalm Death/Toxic Holocaust a couple weeks back. YAYYY. I forgot how much I missed going to shows.

That is all for now ;D

you are the perfect drug

1/27/09 @ 09:13am

el jay...?

wut.

the perfect drug

10/15/08 @ 02:06am


the perfect drug

10/15/08 @ 12:13am

I don't know why I don't update this shit more. I guess my life just isn't that exciting.

I started drinking again. Whatev.

I'm a fucking whore. Whatev.

I'm living with Abbie and I really don't know wtf I'm doing with my life. Whatev.

I miss a lot of people :(

I don't really know how to describe how I've been feeling lately. I got hella drunk last night with my friend Jineen cuz she is moving back to Florida on Wednesday. I took some oxy's and I've felt hella out of it and shitty all fucking day. I did some really terrible shit last night that I totally regret, but there's nothing I can do about that now I guess. Haha. Oh well.

the perfect drug

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